I hate selfpity, I really do. I hate when the stupid idiots are trying to fool everyone else while they're just fooling themselves. This is not a self pity, this is a pure rage.
Working yer butt off for years and years just to know now, it's all for nothing. It was all completely worthless. I know everyone say just keep working you get there eventually! You might have the super bad fails but you will suceess if you keep on trying. But the truth if the more fails that's happening the less streght you have to keep on going, you loose the will to fight, you loose the flame that it was all worth while. And even if you success, the sucess sucked, it was a flop and it went straight to the trash-can.
I don't feel like trying anymore, I don't feel like giving my best when knowing my best was nothing, when I know my whole childhood, the teen years that have passed are just pure shit. I'm not suicidal, that shit is fucking stupid, nothing but selfishness. But I don't want to try anymore, I don't want to fight, I feel like giving up. And what make this all worst, this town, this town is nothing, I hate this town, and everything about it. The anger, I can't get it out, no matter how hard I try and everyone who've said the empty fucking words, Yer strong, you can do this, just keep fighting.
My life is for me, not for YOU, not for anyone else then me. Don't you tell me what I am or not, don't tell me what I can or cannot do.. And never tell me what I should do.
It's my life, my business, if yer plans is for me to pity you, support you and be by your side, fine. But don't think that goes free. I need support too, I need to talk to someone too, but everything I've felt that need I've always got the cold back. After that, I don't pity anyone. You have yer own problems I have mine, let's keep it to that.